An entertainment journalist used the term “aging gracefully” to describe a female actress who was getting close to fifty at some point in the mid-2000s, and it was obviously intended as compliment. At a premiere, the actress was captured on camera. Wearing the biological markers of two more decades, she appeared somewhat older than she had been at thirty-five. The statement seemed to be a complement and was most likely accepted as such. When thoroughly studied, however, “aging gracefully” actually conveys the idea that aging is a performance that you either succeed or fail at, and that you would prefer not to be doing it at all.
This type of language is intrinsically sexist, according to Helen Mirren, who has made expressing her opinions a big part of her public persona. Julianne Moore has followed suit. Their criticisms are not purely aesthetic. The concept that underlies the phrase “aging gracefully” regards female aging as a problem to be controlled rather than a biological fact that just is. This is the issue, not the particular word combination. This framework is not used by men in the same industries and at the same levels of celebrity. For two decades, George Clooney’s grey hair and the creases surrounding his eyes have been considered remarkable. He is frequently used as proof that men can “age like fine wine.” Women are never compared to wine because wine gets better with time, and the cultural script that controls how women are portrayed in the media does not recognize that women get better with time in any way that is reflected in their appearance.
Even though they are rarely discussed in those terms, the practical repercussions within the entertainment industry are documented. Actresses describe a particular narrowing that typically occurs in their late thirties and early forties: roles become more difficult to find, romantic leads that were available in their twenties are no longer offered, and the character parts that do arise are frequently secondary and age-marked in ways that male actors’ “character parts” typically aren’t. This is not anecdotal; it has been investigated, monitored, and documented. In mainstream movies and television, the amount of screen time given to female characters tends to decrease dramatically with age in ways that just don’t apply to their male counterparts.
Social media has created a unique and noteworthy double bind. When a female celebrity exhibits normal signs of aging, she is scrutinized by tabloids and comment sections for changes that are perceived as decline or loss. A female celebrity who has obviously had cosmetic surgery to address those symptoms is subject to additional scrutiny and may be accused of body dysmorphia, artificiality, or desperation. The two criticisms are applied to the same women at the same time, typically during the same news cycle. Avoiding both is not an option. Become noticeably older and face criticism for it. Deal with the obvious aging and receive criticism for it. The trap has been closed.
Despite cultural discussions that have ostensibly shifted toward body acceptance and age positivity, there is something noteworthy about how this has gotten worse rather than better over the past 20 years. Because of high-resolution cameras, social media’s architecture that encourages outrage and reaction, and the sheer amount of celebrity content created every day, it is now possible for a picture taken at an awkward angle with unfavorable lighting to reach millions of people in a matter of hours along with commentary that public figures from earlier generations did not have to deal with. A large portion of the audience for that commentary comes from the ambient, unthinking engagement that social media platforms are designed to promote. However, regardless of the intention, the impact on the women who are its subjects is the same.
Mirren and Moore are the most well-known, but not the only, women who have chosen to oppose this, and their response is noteworthy due to the form it takes. They are not requesting to be left out of the commentary. They are requesting commentary that takes into account the realities of human nature, including aging. That’s a pretty modest request. Depending on how you interpret it, the disparity between the modesty of the request and the distance the society still needs to go to fulfill it can be either disappointing or illuminating.